Kate McKinnon’s Laura Ingraham Grills Marcia Fudge, Jeanine Pirro, Mark Zuckerberg, and ‘Vape God’ Tommy Smokes: WATCH

Kate McKinnon returned as FOX News host Laura Ingraham for Saturday Night Live’s cold open, taking her viewers through a variety of different topics that included voter fraud (with Cecily Strong’s Judge Jeanine Pirro), the race for House Speaker (with Leslie Jones as Pelosi challenger Marcia Fudge), the most recent Facebook scandal (with Alex Moffatt’s Mark Zuckerberg) and an interview with ‘Vape God’ Tom ‘Smokes’ Scibelli (Pete Davidson).

Launching the segment, McKinnon’s Ingraham noted that, among the news of the week, “celebrities in California are whining about a little fire, while the President is under constant attack from rain.”

She continued: “Let’s talk about the rampant voter fraud that allowed Democrats to literally steal the election. Some have claimed that suburban women revolted against the Republican Party, but doesn’t it feel more true that all Hispanics voted twice? You can’t dismiss that idea simply because it isn’t true and sounds insane.”

She then gave a few more examples of “Feel Facts” which “aren’t technically facts but they just feel true” like “Latinos can have a baby every three months”,”Santa is Jesus’s dad”, “If the earth is so warm, then why are my feet cold?”, “blackface is a compliment”, and “if you have less than five guns, you’re gay.”

Watch:

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Steve Carell’s Jeff Bezos Delivers a Sick Burn to Donald Trump in SNL Amazon HQ Announcement: WATCH

“As you know, Amazon just announced the location of its two new headquarters in New York and Virginia, and everyone — except for the people who live there and the people who live in all the places we didn’t choose — is thrilled,” said Saturday Night Live guest host Steve Carell as Jeff Bezos in a message from the Amazon CEO aimed directly at Donald Trump.

Carell’s Bezos said it’s not true, as many suggested, that he chose the locations simply to troll the president.

He said: “Some folks have speculated that I was somehow trolling President Trump by building one headquarters in his hometown of Queens and the other in his current residence of Washington DC, thereby overshadowing or humiliating him. But that’s simply not true. Sure, he attacked me repeatedly on Twitter. But I chose our new locations because they were ideal for growing business. Not just to make Donald Trump think about how I’m literally a hundred times richer than he is.”

Carell’s Bezos went on to introduce some of the company’s innovations: “I am here to announce a brand new delivery option — ‘Amazon Caravan’. Any package going to any Trump building will get delivered by hundreds of Honduran and Mexican immigrants.”

Except if it’s Trump’s book, The Art of the Deal.

“Because that costs more to ship, because it’s heavier,” Carell’s Bezos explained. “I guess it’s the only book with four chapter elevens.”

Carell’s Bezos then introduced the company’s new delivery drone, topped with a mop of orange hair: “The style of the hair is completely random. I just wanted something that looks so silly that everybody knows it was fake.

Carell’s Bezos offered his announcement in a corporate office hung with framed photos of Mario Kart’s Toad (aka Trump’s penis), and images of himself posing with a shirtless Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, and Kanye West.

On a final note, Carell’s Bezos explained that the company’s new Virginia HQ will be close to Arlington National Cemetery, so Amazon employees can “pay our respects to fallen veterans, even when it’s raining outside.”

Watch:

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Idiot Who Yelled ‘Heil Hitler, Heil Trump’ in Baltimore Theatre Says He’s ‘Embarrassed’ and ‘Ashamed’ – WATCH

Tony Derlunas, the fool who yelled “Heil Hitler, Heil Trump” in a Baltimore theatre during intermission at a performance of Fiddler on the Roof this week now says he’s “ashamed” and “embarrassed” and is apologizing.

Rich Scherr, a sportswriter for the Baltimore Sun, posted a video of the audience reacting to the outburst to his Facebook page.

The Baltimore Sun reported: ‘Immediately after that, “People started running,” Scherr said. “I’ll be honest, I was waiting to hear a gunshot. I thought, ‘Here we go.’ ” The man was escorted out a few minutes later and the show continued. But Scherr, 49, said it was hard to focus on the play after that. “My heart was just racing. I didn’t even really pay attention to the second act.” “Fiddler” tells the story of a Jewish family as it faces persecution in tsarist Russia. It’s based on “Tevye the Dairyman,” a fictional story originally written in Yiddish. The play opened Tuesday and runs through Sunday in Baltimore.’

While Derlunas’s rant was seen as pro-Trump, he tells local media that he’s actually anti-Trump.

Said Derlunas, who wouldn’t show his face, to WBAL: “I just want everybody to know I am sincerely sorry. I’m so embarrassed and ashamed and disgusted with myself. I didn’t think at the time about my frustrations with President Trump and I was trying to compare Trump to Hitler because he plays into the fears of people and it just came out wrong…I opened my mouth and it was so wrong, and I know that now. In the moment, it was just my frustration. I don’t know what I was thinking. I am so ashamed. My heart goes out to all those that I ruined their night, to everybody that was affected by my stupidity.”

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Man Arrested for Brutal Attack Outside NYC Gay Bar Arraigned on Hate Crime Charges, Faces 15 Years in Prison

Brandon McNamara, who was arrested in September in connection with a brutal homophobic attack early Sunday morning on two New Jersey men outside Metropolitan, a gay bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, was arraigned on hate crime charges this week. McNamara allegedly punched a 34-year-old victim in the face and threw a 29-year-old victim against a tree, leaving both of them unconscious. They were taken to the hospital and treated for a fractured shoulder and a broken finger.

Patch.com reports: “McNamara was released from Brooklyn Criminal Court on a $15,000 bail after being charged assault, menacing and harassment, all as hate crimes, prosecutors said. The Queens man is expected to return to court on Jan. 16 and faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted, said prosecutors.”

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Trump: ‘I Like Nancy Pelosi’ and Can Get Her ‘as Many Votes as She Wants’ for Speaker: WATCH

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In a helicopter interview before departing to California to view wildfire devastation, Donald Trump told reporters that he can get votes for Nancy Pelosi to become House Speaker.

Said Trump: “I like her. Can you believe it? I like Nancy Pelosi. She’s tough and she’s smart, but she deserves to be Speaker. And not they’re playing games with her, just like they’ll be playing with me. It’s called presidential harassment. The president of your country is doing a great job but he’s being harassed. It’s presidential harassment. In a way, her own party is harassing her…certainly they should start off with Nancy Pelosi as speaker, and I’ve got a lot of votes.”

Trump also tweeted: “I can get Nancy Pelosi as many votes as she wants in order for her to be Speaker of the House. She deserves this victory, she has earned it – but there are those in her party who are trying to take it away. She will win!”

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Roll Call reports: “For Trump, making Pelosi speaker would give him the sense that she owes him legislatively and also ensure that his top campaign-trail foil, who remains intensely unpopular with Republican voters, remains in the headlines through his re-election bid.”

Pelosi has been trying to gather support but is facing opposition from 17 Democrats.

The Washington Post reports: “But process and political concerns aside, there is one thing eight of the nine incoming Democrats publicly opposing Pelosi have in common: centrist and Republican-leaning districts. According to the Cook Political Report’s Partisan Voting Index (PVI), which measures partisanship in districts, the average PVI of the nine freshmen refusing to vote for Pelosi is R+3, leaning Republican. Further, among the 37 seats Democrats flipped in the 2018 midterm elections, 31 are held by members who oppose Pelosi or who continue to dodge questions about the California Democrat. Those 31 seats also have an average PVI of R+3. While Pelosi allies have slammed the incumbent white men challenging her, the greatest threat and greatest uncertainty for Pelosi may be the freshmen she helped elect in districts drawn to favorRepublicans eight years ago.”

The NYT adds: “For Ms. Pelosi, who is making the case for herself in terms of competence and toughness, not gender, the House electoral math is complicated. She is still the odds-on favorite to be speaker and has no credible opponent; many Democrats believe she would easily beat back a challenge from Ms. [Marcia] Fudge, who told The Washington Post on Thursday that she was “overwhelmed” by support as she decided whether to run.”

Pelosi met with Fudge on Friday: ‘Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi met with her potential competition for the speaker’s gavel on Friday, Ohio Rep. Marcia Fudge, who left the meeting still contemplating a bid. “No,” Fudge told reporters when asked if Pelosi asked her not to run. “What she asked me was basically how we could get to a point where I could be supportive.” Asked if such a point exists, even if she opts not to run against Pelosi, Fudge said, “There is a point, yes, but it’s going to take some.”’

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Police Step Up Patrols After Social Media Threat to Philadelphia Gay Bars

https://w3.cdn.anvato.net/player/prod/v3/anvload.html?key=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%3D

Police stepped up patrols around Philadelphia gay bars on Friday night after a social media post threatened a possible shooting.

CBS Philly reports: “A recent online post made reference to a possible shooting at Woody’s or Voyeur. Police say they’re taking the post seriously. However, they say they do not believe there is an immediate threat.”

Woody’s released a statement on Facebook: “In such uncertain times, you wouldn’t think a threat would come from a member of our community, but now the unthinkable has happened. A hollow threat was made by a former customer & it’s spreading through social media. The owners & management of Woody’s have a long working relationship with the Philadelphia police in making the safety of our customers and staff top priority. Philly PD has investigated & Homeland Security has assured us that the threat made is non-credible and unfounded.”

A similar statement was posted on Voyeur’s Facebook page.

Coincidentally, the threats come a week after at least two Boston gay bars received threatening phone calls around the same time on consecutive nights. The content of those threats was not disclosed. dbar in Dorchester received a threatening call on Friday night, and Alley Bar in downtown Boston received a similar call on Saturday.

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Moroni Benally, Jacob Wohl, Julian Assange, Monopoly for Millennials, Frank Ocean, Liberal Redneck: HOT LINKS

WILDFIRES. The number of missing people surged to more than 600 in the deadly California wildfires as the death toll reached 66 statewide.

MIKE PENCE. Trump questions VP’s loyalty: “Mr. Trump has repeated the question so many times that he has alarmed some of his advisers. The president has not openly suggested dropping Mr. Pence from the ticket and picking another running mate, but the advisers say those kinds of questions usually indicate that he has grown irritated with someone.”

JULIAN ASSANGE. Wikileaks founder has been charged under seal: “WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has been charged under seal, prosecutors inadvertently revealed in a recently unsealed court filing — a development that could significantly advance the probe into Russian interference in the 2016 election and have major implications for those who publish government secrets.”

ARMIE HAMMER. I’m sorry for my ‘unnecessary social commentary’ telling people how to mourn.

MICHAEL AVENATTI. I’m coming for Jacob Wohl over the domestic violence arrest.

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MOVIES. Apple partners with Moonlight producer A24 in multi-year original content deal.

RULING. Neo-Nazis have no First Amendment right to harassment: ‘A lawsuit accusing the publisher of the neo-Nazi site Daily Stormer of coordinating a “terror campaign” of online harassment against a Jewish real estate agent cannot be dismissed on First Amendment grounds, a federal judge in Montana ruled this week.’

THE SOCIAL NETWORK. Facebook’s campaign to attack critics: “While Mr. Zuckerberg has conducted a public apology tour in the last year, Ms. Sandberg has overseen an aggressive lobbying campaign to combat Facebook’s critics, shift public anger toward rival companies and ward off damaging regulation. Facebook employed a Republican opposition-research firm to discredit activist protesters, in part by linking them to the liberal financier George Soros. It also tapped its business relationships, lobbying a Jewish civil rights group to cast some criticism of the company as anti-Semitic.”

HASBRO. Monopoly for Millennials: ‘The lines on the box include “Adulting is hard,” “visit the hottest destinations – from your friend’s couch to the vegan bistro,” and “forget real estate, you can’t afford it anyway.” In this version of the game, players collect chips which represent upvotes on social media instead of money, there’s no real estate to buy and you win by collecting the most experiences on the board, like visiting an artisanal coffee shop or yoga studio.’

ON THE RAG. This week on the gay magazines.

ZAYN MALIK. I’m no longer a practicing Muslim: “I don’t believe you need to eat a certain meat that’s been prayed over a certain way, I don’t believe you need to read a prayer in a certain language five times a day. I don’t believe any of it. I just believe if you’re a good person everything is going to go right for you.”

MORONI FOR PRESIDENT. Gay ex-Mormon Moroni Benally campaigns to lead the Navajo nation.

LIBERAL REDNECK. Comic Trae Crowder inks TV series deal: “ABC has put in development a single-camera comedy starring, created and executive produced by Trae Crowder, known for his stage persona the Liberal Redneck, and his writing and comedy touring partners Corey Forrester and Drew Morgan. The project hails from Ruben Fleischer’s The District and ABC Studios where Fleischer is under a deal. Written by Andrew Reich (Friends), Forrester, Morgan and Crowder, the untitled WellRED project is an ensemble comedy about three best friends in the rural south and the women in their lives.”

FRANK OCEAN. He has made his Instagram public. “Welcome.”

 

MAROON 5. Adam Levine addresses Super Bowl rumors: “Whoever is lucky enough to get that gig probably is gonna crush it… Whoever does it is probably equal parts nervous and excited. This is all speculative because I don’t know who I’m talking about.”

NEW TUNE OF THE DAY. Jennifer Lopez “Limitless”.

FRIDAY FLASH. Edwin.

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